This is Me: A Reckoning by Hayden Panettiere

 

Hello my lovely readers! First things first, R.I.P. Hayden. Let's get into it.

SYNOPSIS
Hayden Panettiere’s career in entertainment began before she could talk. From her first gig as a Michelin baby to roles in cult classics like Remember the Titans and Raising Helen, as well as popular soap operas Guiding Light and One Life to Live, Hayden built an impressive resume by the time she entered middle school. Throughout the early 2000s, she starred in millennial favorites like Racing Stripes, Heroes, and Scream 4 & VI and earned two Golden Globe nominations for her starring role of Juliette Barnes in Nashville. The squeaky-clean face of Neutrogena, she was Hollywood’s girl next door and subjected to all the fame, attention, and expectations that came with it. In an era of relentless paparazzi with an appetite for celebrity breakdowns, naysayers were certain this young starlet would crash and burn. Not one to disappoint, she did.

In this irreverent, intimate, and inspiring memoir, Hayden holds nothing back. What started as a fun job for a child took a decidedly darker turn as she came of age. She exposes the pressure and exploitation young stars face before they’re old enough to know themselves, and how easy it is for them to lose control of their own narrative and, ultimately, their lives. Hayden was the target of brutal tabloid headlines picking apart her body, and she performed storylines onscreen that mirrored her real-life trauma. She suffered post-partum depression, addiction and recovery, domestic abuse, and the loss of her beloved little brother. Despite everything, Hayden managed to take these experiences, which she calls “lifequakes,” and emerge from them stronger, no longer afraid to use her voice or show her true self. She’s played the part of a misfit hero, a superstar, a survivor, a cheerleader, and an all-American fresh face. In THIS IS ME, Hayden stars in her most heart-wrenching and unforgettable role yet: herself. This is her story, on her terms.

MY THOUGHTS
Man, what a depressing read, especially given Hayden's recent death. 

I appreciate her honesty throughout her memoir, although I would've liked for her to go deeper in some aspects. A lot of the times, a second or third breakup was glossed over, the distance between her mom grew larger etc., and I would've liked to understand more of what she was feeling.

It's such a shame. Hayden and I were born 10 days apart, so I recently celebrated my 37th birthday, while she did not. I grew up on her films, starting with Remember the Titans and then the Amanda Knox Lifetime movie, Bring it On: All or Nothing, Lies My Mother Told Me, Scream 4 and Scream VI. It was shocking to hear that she passed. I had heard some stuff from the celeb gossip sites that she had issues with her boyfriend, so it's a shame that she ended up back with him after everything she went through with him.

Rest in Peace, Hayden!